Its either really late or really early, I'll leave you to decide. I should be in bed fast asleep. Don't feel all that far from it actually, just not quite there yet. Still too many thoughts pouncing in my poor wee skull for a peaceful slumber. So I come to you dear void, to banish all excess energy (good or bad) into this vacuum of cyberspace.
As the title so simply suggests, I am in waiting. And I actually have a pretty decent clue as to what I am waiting for. You see I am currently in this rare fickle spot in my life. For the fist time I know just what I want and where I am going. I have a clear and achievable path set ahead that I look forward to without any trace (yet) of my usual fear.
Patience however, is not strong in me. In order to have the clear and simple path, I have to find mine deep...deep inside me. The program I am in has many benefits, school paid in full and job placement assistance. But only if I follow the rules and keep with the process they set. No striking out on my own, no deviation from the plan. All of which I am happy to fulfill just at the chance to better my circumstances.
It has been over a decade since I had any kind of handle on my life. I know in my head that there is no harm in the waiting, but my heart wants to make up for all the time lost. As if could live the past ten years over again in a few short weeks. Logically I know better, but that logic doesn't translate so well to the rest of me.
The past is lost, the future doesn't even exist. All I have now is this moment in front of a computer screen. The only consolation I have is that I know I'm on the right path. Of course there is no proof that I am, just a stern faith that maintains some sort of sanity.
As the title so simply suggests, I am in waiting. And I actually have a pretty decent clue as to what I am waiting for. You see I am currently in this rare fickle spot in my life. For the fist time I know just what I want and where I am going. I have a clear and achievable path set ahead that I look forward to without any trace (yet) of my usual fear.
Patience however, is not strong in me. In order to have the clear and simple path, I have to find mine deep...deep inside me. The program I am in has many benefits, school paid in full and job placement assistance. But only if I follow the rules and keep with the process they set. No striking out on my own, no deviation from the plan. All of which I am happy to fulfill just at the chance to better my circumstances.
It has been over a decade since I had any kind of handle on my life. I know in my head that there is no harm in the waiting, but my heart wants to make up for all the time lost. As if could live the past ten years over again in a few short weeks. Logically I know better, but that logic doesn't translate so well to the rest of me.
The past is lost, the future doesn't even exist. All I have now is this moment in front of a computer screen. The only consolation I have is that I know I'm on the right path. Of course there is no proof that I am, just a stern faith that maintains some sort of sanity.
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